Sharing a nice article published in May 2019 issue of Lana’i Today contributed by one of our Board members, Tricia Morris:
Even in the Land of Aloha and Rainbows, conflicts and disputes arise in our daily lives. Hawaii has a long and beautiful tradition of resolution and facilitation of disputes. In each community, there was an elder or wise-one who was respected by others. They were neutral witnesses who helped the disputing parties resolve their conflicts in a peaceful way. This tradition has inspired the current facilitators / peacemakers such as Dr. Peter Adler, who was the Founder and Executive Director of The Neighborhood Justice Center in Honolulu in 1979. This later became the Mediation Center of the Pacific. More recently, I, the writer of this article, became similarly inspired.
The courtroom is a relatively modern method of settling conflict. Mediation and facilitation of resolutions compares very favorably with similar matters that have been taken thru the Courts. Courtrooms often exacerbate the hostility between people, while mediation restores harmony.
Courts have limited time and the “arguments” are directed to the legal advantage and intellectual perspective. Relationships are usually damaged further in court proceedings where in mediation they are generally preserved or enhanced.
Mediation allows parties a chance to be heard, to express their grievances or defenses at an emotional level and be heard within a safe environment. The meetings are facilitated by an impartial trained mediator, often called a Neutral. This leads to a
productive dialogue and negotiation with intent toward a mutual solution that is acceptable to both parties.
Life happens. Conflicts are valuable in that they allow people to express the hurts, upsets, and differences that occur with living and relating. Too often “sweeping under the rug” leads to unexpressed feelings and resentments that lead to more of the same, since nothing is resolved.
A particular area in which mediation has been proven to be effective is divorce and child custody. Most importantly, Mediation can lead to a deeply improved relationship between parents and children, as well as between divorced parents. The lessened conflict and greater accord lead to lasting positive effects for everyone, long after the original Mediation. Research substantiates that lessened conflict has dramatic long-term positive impact on children including through their adult years. The goodwill resulting from mediation also allows the parents to move into their futures with a greater sense of well being and self esteem.
An emerging area for Mediation is relationship or marriage. Agreements between people in close relationships can help prevent breakups of long term relationships and divorce in marriages. Mediation is generally found to be helpful in family disputes. Family mediation regarding the long-term care of an elder or other areas of disagreement can reduce stress and facilitate more peaceful future interactions.
Mediation and Conflict Resolution are effectively used in many civil disputes including employment issues, when legal action is being considered. Areas of conflict that have
lent themselves well to Mediation are real estate, business, medical error and malpractice, trusts and estates, neighborhood and employment.
Things have changed with culture and time. Mediators aren’t usually members of the Ohana today and Mediations are often conducted in offices. The Spirit is still with us. Let’s find resolution to our problems, peace in ourselves and our communities and emanate it to the World.
LanaiTodayMay2019 – Tricia Morris Article Pg 17
