Author: Lisa Nakao

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Events News Videos

Mahalo for Participating in 5:1 Kindness Challenge!

The Kindness Challenge result… We would like to say Mahalo to everyone who participated in 5:1 Kindness Challenge and spread positiveness in the communities around you. Thank you also to Keahi Tucker – Hawaii News Now, Kristy Tamashiro – KHON, and Amrita Mallik – UH Manoa for spreading the words about our challenge. Special thanks goes to Ms. Pamera Fujita of Mililani Middle School for having her entire class participate in the challenge to spread kindness widely!! Here are some of her students’ feedbacks: “… We started the quarter by doing the 5:3:1 as our project. We do 5 minutes of meditation. we then have a journal where we decorate each day and write down 3 good things about the day. Along with that we write 1 random act of kindness we did that day. Ms.pam heard about your contest and had a challenge between each track….. Our goal overall was to spread kindness. I believe our class achieved our goal to spread kindness to others who need it….”   Jazmine O. “Ms. Pam’s Class dedicated a whole quarter to teaching about kindness and 5-3-1. She told us to write in our journals 3 things that made us happy that day, and one act of kindness that we did that day. This assignment helped us to improve on many things, mostly on becoming a happier and all around better person.”   Piha’eu A. Let’s keep it going this holiday season. A small kindness goes a long way in making a positive impact on someone’s day 🙂 

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Events News Programs Tips for Mediators

2019 Annual Meeting Recap

Aloha, We enjoyed a lovely evening gathering at the 2019 ACR Hawaii Annual Meeting. Hope you were able to join us. In case you missed it, here is what happened at the meeting. New Board of Directors and Officers were elected.  Congratulations! Click here to see our new leaders. Our members also voted on two items: Shall ACR Hawaii’s status as a chapter of the Association for Conflict Resolution be terminated and shall it become an independent non-profit, tax exempt organization by the end of 2020?  -> Approved. Shall the Board be authorized to decide the new name of the organization?   -> Approved. Recapped what we did this year:   Then, Tom & Dick reminisced John F. Kennedy and his achievements, and shared how the tools of his success can be applied to our work as conflict resolver / peacebuilder.   Special Mahalo to 100th Infantry Battalion Veterans Education Center for graciously welcoming us. We had a great time!

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News

13 Tools for Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, with Customers and in Life by Lee Jay Berman

We can all certainly use help in trying to build peace within ourselves in our very divided society. Sharing an article from Mediate.com… Conflict happens. It is inevitable. It is going to happen whenever you have people with different expectations. This makes conflict management critical, whether avoiding arguments, disputes, lasting conflict or ultimately, litigation. Conflict can be avoided if steps are taken early in a discussion to diffuse anger and facilitate communication, and it can be resolved by applying a series of thoughtfully applied steps. As a full-time mediator and trainer in the fields of negotiation and conflict resolution, I see conflict in its final stages – full blown litigation or on the verge of it in pre-litigation mode. What I have learned in seeing these disputes for 10 years is that most of them could have been resolved in the earliest stages if the people involved applied some of the skills that mediators use to resolve conflict. And wouldn’t it be great if companies could resolve these disputes before each side spent hundreds of thousands in litigation costs, before the employee was terminated or before the customer or working relationship was gone forever? Here are some tools for avoiding and resolving disputes in the early stages, before they become full-blown conflicts: 1. Stay Calm. Thomas Jefferson said, “Nothing gives one so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” The thing that leads to conflict is escalation. What starts people escalating is their anger. Most of us stop listening to understand as we get angry. Instead, we start listening in order to argue back. Remaining calm is essential for performing these tools. To remain calm, it helps to look at the big picture. If you think about it, most every dispute gets resolved…

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Events Programs

2019 Annual Meeting “Remembering JFK – Let Us Never Fear to Negotiate”

Aloha, Please join us for our annual meeting, dinner gathering, lively discussion, and voting on important matters! ACR Hawaii members will be asked to vote on the following: 1. Shall ACR Hawaii’s status as a chapter of the Association for Conflict Resolution be terminated and shall it become an independent non-profit, tax exempt organization by the end of 2020? 2.  (If the vote on #1. above is yes) Shall the Board be authorized to decide the new name of the organization? Explanation: The Board requests final authority on the new name in order to streamline the decision making process.  The Board recommends that the new name be “Conflict Resolution Alliance”, however, the Board will take into consideration suggestions by members submitted by the end of the Annual Meeting, if there are any.  This means that if you would like to provide input on the new name, you should give us your suggestions by the end of the Annual Meeting.  There will be a sheet at the Annual Meeting where you can provide a new name suggestion, along with your contact information for any follow-up. For registration and more details, please go to: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/2019-annual-meeting-remembering-jfk-let-us-never-fear-to-negotiate-tickets-74634055469

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News

October 2019 Chapter Updates

Aloha kakou! May this message find you and your loved ones in good health and spirits.  The purpose of this message is to provide our members with updates on the status of our Chapter. Tax exempt status reinstated The IRS granted our application.  Our tax exempt status was reinstated back to the date of revocation, May 15, 2018.  Contributions to our Chapter under IRC Section 170 remain valid and may be deducted just as before.  We are now tax exempt as a separate, independent, entity and no longer fall under ACR’s group exemption. Recommendation to become a separate, independent organization The Board recommends that our Chapter be established as a separate, independent, non-profit, tax exempt organization, and that its Chapter status be terminated by the end of calendar year 2020.  The vote by members on this issue may be taken at the next annual membership meeting scheduled for November 22nd, 2019.   A Transition Committee (composed of Dick Mosher, Lisa Nakao, Jose Barzola, and Sky Kau`i Chun-Matsukawa) has been appointed to provide members with specific information before the vote and to oversee the process. Reasons for becoming a separate organization Our recommendation followed many months of deliberation, discussions, and debate.  The basic reasons for establishing a separate, independent, organization, may be summarized as follows: a.      Our limited time, energy, and attention may be better utilized locally.  By focusing 100% of our energy and resources here, our organization will be able to serve our local community more effectively. b.      Our Bylaws require our officers and directors to be ACR members.  Many Board members do not meet this qualification.  We considered the option of continuing in this way. However, it may be unwise to settle upon a long-term practice of choosing which Bylaws will be followed and which ones…

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Articles

Why Kindness Matters in Hawaii?

Kindness is part of the culture on the islands because we live “Aloha” everyday to maintain harmonious relationship with the environment and people around us. It is also the law: HRS [§5-7.5]  “Aloha Spirit” (a)  “Aloha Spirit” is the coordination of mind and heart within each person.  It brings each person to the self.  Each person must think and emote good feelings to others.  In the contemplation and presence of the life force, “Aloha”, the following unuhi laula loa may be used:      “Akahai”, meaning kindness to be expressed with tenderness;      “Lokahi”, meaning unity, to be expressed with harmony;      “Oluolu”, meaning agreeable, to be expressed with pleasantness;      “Haahaa”, meaning humility, to be expressed with modesty;      “Ahonui”, meaning patience, to be expressed with perseverance.      These are traits of character that express the charm, warmth and sincerity of Hawaii’s people.  It was the working philosophy of native Hawaiians and was presented as a gift to the people of Hawaii.  “Aloha” is more than a word of greeting or farewell or a salutation.  “Aloha” means mutual regard and affection and extends warmth in caring with no obligation in return.  “Aloha” is the essence of relationships in which each person is important to every other person for collective existence.  “Aloha” means to hear what is not said, to see what cannot be seen and to know the unknowable.      (b)  In exercising their power on behalf of the people and in fulfillment of their responsibilities, obligations and service to the people, the legislature, governor, lieutenant governor, executive officers of each department, the chief justice, associate justices, and judges of the appellate, circuit, and district courts may contemplate and reside with the life force and give consideration to the “Aloha Spirit”. [L 1986, c 202, §1] Join us in the Kindness Challenge…

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Articles Tips for Mediators

Why Kindness Matters?

Here is one of the perspectives from a business person… “5 Reasons Why Kindness Has Become the Key to My Happiness, Both in Business and in Life” by Denise Corcoran – Originally posted on April 19, 2019 at https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/326114 . According to a Cigna study, 46 percent of surveyed Americans suffer from feeling alone. In the work world, despite all the focus on employee engagement, many employees are still unhappy. We live at a time when we are more connected than ever digitally, yet loneliness and unhappiness abound. Where are we missing the boat? After working with leadership teams and organizations for over four decades, I believe I have found the answer. The answer is not about greater employee engagement — rather, it’s about greater human engagement.   How I uncovered the happiness secret for myself In the darkest moments of my life, a wise mentor told me that the greatest antidote to fear, anxiety or frustration was to go help someone else. After a rough 2018 on a personal level, I found this sage advice to be a game-changer. Here’s how it all began.  Click here to read on… Be kind. Take Kindness Challenge with us.

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Events Mediation News Tips for Mediators Training

Celebrating Conflict Resolution All Month in October!

October is filled with events about conflict resolution! Many mediation trainings and conflict resolution skill building workshops are happening in October. Here are some free events you may be interested in:  “5:1 Kindness Challenge” Throughout October (Web Event) Chai Time of film screening –“Spark Matsunaga: Warrior Poet” October 8, 2019 3pm-4pm (Honolulu) Panel Discussion –  “Making Connections with Opening Statements: Laying Foundations for Productive Mediation” on October 14, 2019 1:30pm – 3:40pm (Honolulu) Brown Bag Presentation – “Restorative Justice: Post Traumatic Strength & Development!” on October 17, 2019 12pm – 1pm (Hilo) Workshop & Talk Story – “Hate – The Other Four Letter Word” on October 29, 2019 12pm – 2pm (Honolulu) Check out the events page for the full listings.

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Events News Tips for Mediators

Are you ready for Kindness Challenge?

“A Formula for Healthy Relationships” by Anne Marie Smoke – Originally posted on November 1, 2018 in State of Hawai’i Judiciary blog The thing that separates healthy and happy relationships from miserable ones is a balance of positive to negative interactions. Studies in the field of social psychology show that it takes five positive interactions to make up for every one bad encounter you have with someone.  It is called the 5:1 Magic Ratio. Think of it as a simple formula for building healthy relationships.  There are other positive outcomes of balancing good and bad human encounters that affect our work environment. Studies in human performance continue to reflect decades-old theories on the value of positive reinforcement in the workplace. This wisdom suggests that positive reinforcement—which by all conventional measures is a good encounter—can make an organization more effective and bring out the best in everybody.  Here is how it works. We experience approximately 20,000 individual moments in a waking day each lasting just a few seconds. The moments that make an indelible mark on our memory are not the neutral encounters we have with others, but the ones that are either positive or negative. Even though these encounters are only seconds long, they can be life-changing.  If you can change someone’s life in just a few seconds, why not make it for the better and get the added payoff of cultivating a happy, more productive workplace. It all starts by establishing a culture of positive exchanges.  Pay someone a compliment. Offer a few encouraging words. Show appreciation. Help a coworker save face. Or, simply greet your coworkers with a smile!  The good news is that you can bank good actions or encounters. After all, we are human, and we all have momentary lapses in judgement, or mindless, rushed moments when we are unaware of what we are leaving in…

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Events Mediation News Tips for Mediators Training

“Hate – The Other Four Letter Word” – Workshop & Talk Story

Information about the upcoming Free Workshop & Talk Story Gathering… October 29, 2019 12pm – 2pm Hawaii Supreme Court, MPR 101 Hate. We fear it. We want to control it. Outlaw it. Distance ourselves from its awesome power. Yet, this powerful emotion seems inextricably bonded to our human nature. What’s behind this dynamic emotion? Can we tame it? Ease its hurtful potential? Join us for a journey into the heart of hate as we try to understand the forces behind it. We just might discover some keys that reveal some of its mysteries and channel its destructive energies. Click Here for Flyer Presenters:  José Barzola & Owen Tamamoto Register for the event here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/hate-the-other-four-letter-word-tickets-74264983565