Conflict Resolution Alliance (CRA)

Kindness ideas by Katie Ranney Music can be a connecting force. Music can be amazingly personal. Show someone that you are thinking of them by creating a playlist just for them. Whether on Spotify or a physical CD, craft a listening experience that you think they will enjoy. Don’t know how to make a playlist? Start by thinking of the person you’re giving the soundtrack to. What style of music do they like? What songs remind you of them or that you think they will like? Once you have a list of about 15 songs (more or less), you can place them in an order. The order can follow the ebb and flow of the songs’ rhythms or speeds. Or the order can tell a story. For example, you might think some songs represent when you first met or developing your friendship and then other songs represent your current relationship. Then you can place the songs in a chronological order. There is no wrong way to do it! As long as you are making it with them in mind.

Kindness ideas by Katie Ranney Another simple suggestion that can be deceptively difficult: say thank you. You might have an overdue card to send. You may know someone who you haven’t said thank you to. You might not have expressed gratitude for someone else’s routine actions that make your life easier. Whatever the case, share your thanks.

Kindness ideas by Katie Ranney Invite someone out for a walk. You are walking with them through life, so make it literal and take a walk in the park with them. Not only are you encouraging them to be in the open air, get some exercise, and take a break, but you are crafting a time to build your relationship. Just make sure that phones stay in the pockets. It is an additional act of kindness to be present with them, listen to them actively, and build or strengthen your connection.

Kindness ideas by Katie Ranney Bring kindness into your household. It can sometimes be easier to do random acts of kindness for strangers or coworkers than it is to be kind to a family member. A long relational history and communication habits can make acts of kindness uncomfortable because they are not what you normally do for each other. However, small acts of kindness with family can shift ineffective patterns and breathe new, positive life into your relationship with surprising power.  Do the dishes, sweep the floor, take out the trash, or finish any chore that another family member usually does (or even better, hates doing). Even if they don’t say “thank you” or point out what you’ve done for them, rest assured that they noticed. Just like that you’ve added a positive interaction into your Gottman’s relationship ratio. (See day 2 for more information about Gottman). 

Kindness Ideas by Katie Ranney Pay it forward and show some kindness at the cafe. Buy the drink for the person next in line or reserve $5 to take a bit of the burden off someone’s wallet. An additional few dollars in someone’s pocket can make their heart feel lighter and it’s a simple thing for you to do spontaneously.