Among life events causing the most stress and resulting medical illness, divorce ranks as second, only after death of one’s spouse holding the number one spot. Given this reality, if your marriage is beyond repair, you are faced with a stark choice. You can enter into the violent world of adversarial divorce—with its often long-term, extreme expense, and children-damaging results—or discover the more mindful and appropriate process called Collaborative Divorce to end your marriage in a more peaceful, cost-effective, private, and sustainable way.
The challenge for most people detaching from a marital relationship is to be able to peacefully process the emotional divorce rollercoaster. This rollercoaster consists of extreme feelings of loss, rejection, anger, fear, sorrow, insecurity and anxiety on the one hand, while often mixed with positive feelings of separating from your spouse. The Collaborative Divorce process helps couples separate with more mindfulness and clarity.
In the Collaborative Divorce process, the spouses and their respective Collaborative Attorneys all work together mindfully and appropriately to problem-solve and reach an agreement that meets the needs of everyone involved. At the beginning of the Collaborative Divorce process, the spouses and their Collaborative Attorneys sign a contract committing to resolve all issues without resorting to litigation or threats of court intervention. A Collaborative Divorce also addresses the financial issues and emotional rollercoaster, so the couple is highly encouraged to use a financial specialist and mental health professional whom expertly and efficiently support the family through the divorce process.
Additional advantages to the Collaborative Divorce process are that it is faster and more economical for complex divorces, particularly where considerable financial assets and children’s needs are involved. All relevant information is shared in team meetings, transparently and in a timely manner, so the divorce moves forward swiftly and privately. Hawai’i litigated cases can take more than two years to resolve. It can cost contentious litigants well over $100,000.00! In contrast, a Collaborative Divorce typically costs one-third to one-half the amount of time and total cost of a litigated divorce, even when a full team of four Collaborative professionals is utilized. Please note that some collaborative lawyers charge reduced fees on a sliding fee scale basis depending upon gross family income for their services.
By conducting themselves with mutual respect and cooperation generally not found in adversarial divorce cases, former spouses shorten the time needed for healing post-divorce and are better able to get on with their lives.
By Tom DiGrazia & Lisa Jacobs
For more information on Collaborative Divorce, please contact experienced Collaborative Attorneys and Peacebuilders Tom DiGrazia & Lisa Jacobs. Tom DiGrazia’s contact information is: email: digraziat001@gmail.com, and phone: (808) 262-0770. Lisa Jacobs’s contact information is: website: www.PonoDivorce.com, email: Lisa@PonoDivorce.com, and phone: (808) 263-6299.
